The Dancer

  "Hadji? Hadji! You're going to be late for class" screamed Jonny as he
came running up the stairs. 
  Jonny bound into Hadji's room only to find him still meditating.  Hadji,
who was normally alert in his meditative state, was totally caught up in
the experience. Jonny then tapped him on the shoulder. 
  Hadji's eyes snapped open. 
  "You're going to be late for class." 
  "Oh, thanks Jonny. I will go now." said Hadji calmly as he scrambled
around his room to get things together before bounding out the door. 
  Hadji was a freshman at Rockport College, majoring in computer science.
At the ripe old age of 20, he got a late start going to school because he
spent two years in India directly following graduation. During this time,
he devoted himself entirely to intense study with a Guru in the pursuit of
the Yogin path. 
  Jonny just graduated high school, and was still deciding on whether to
go to college or join the service. 
  As for Jessie, who decided to go to California to study the sciences at
UCLA, and like Hadji, took summer classes and wouldn't be in Maine for
summer vacation. 
  Hadji scrambled down the steps, nearly knocking over Benton, who was
coming up to see what the delay was. 
  "Sorry Dr. Quest-- got to go, bye..." 
  Benton continued on up and ran into Jonny coming out of Hadji's room. 
  "Is it me, or is he getting weird?" asked Jonny. 
  "Jonny, you fail to consider that Hadji has only been in school a few
days. He's taking intense summer classes, and he hasn't even taken a
regular term yet, which doesn't start until the fall semester." 
  "I know, but he always adjusts so well to things..."  replied Jonny. 
  "And he just spent two years in India in a very disciplined and
spiritual setting which is very different than what he's doing now. He
needs some time to readjust, that's all."  explained Benton. 
  "I hope that's all-- this new Hadji is almost too much to handle." 
  It was only the fourth day of class, and it was evident that Hadji was
having trouble adjusting. He was in an Intro computer course which seemed
simple enough-- simple to the point where it bored Hadji to tears.
However, what he couldn't get used to were the eyes of all the female
student on him when he entered the classroom. 
  Hadji had grown into a very handsome man. At 6'1", his tall, lean,
muscular build was impressive to any lady-- this, complimented by the
tight, dark shirts he was known for wearing. Each day, when he walked into
class, his dark skin had the slightest sheen of perspiration caused by the
summer heat, which only added to his appeal. 
  Hadji was not impressed by the girls, as he found them to be
empty-headed children and he could not figure out for anything why they
always stared at him. Part of his mind had an idea, but his clean,
virtuous lifestyle would not allow his mind to contemplate the
possibilities. He had accomplished too much in the past two years to have
it undone by giving in to carnal or egotistical thinking. 
  To counter the draining effects the day had on him, Hadji would come
straight home and go straight into meditation, and would do so late into
the night. He would sleep a few hours, and be up early the next morning to
meditate before class. 
  So here was Hadji-- sitting in a required class going over material he
had learned years prior from experience with Dr.  Quest. The class was
half over, but it dragged on for him, made worse by the fact that he was
more the focus of attention than the teacher himself. Hadji had a backpack
hung on the back of his chair, and several times during the class, he
could feel it move as if it were being tugged on. He knew immediately what
was happening. His eyes rolled as he knew when home and went to empty his
bag, that tons of little slips of paper containing phone numbers would
come out. 
  He looked at the clock-- 11:45. Class would be over in fifteen minutes.
Would he make it out alive? He wondered this as each day when class let
out, he would be crushed going out the door-- all on purpose by girls
trying to get close to him. 
  This went on for a number of weeks and he told no one. He knew what
would happen if he did-- everyone would find it funny. What wasn't funny
was how everyone was so desperately worried about him, as he was becoming
uncharacteristically irritable and spent all his waking hours in his room. 
          * * * * * * * * *
  "Race! Have you seen Hadji? He was supposed to help me update the
computer system this weekend." replied Benton. 
  "Come on, Benton! Now where has he spent the last three weeks when he's
not in class?" 
  "You're right, Race. How silly of me to forget-- although I still can't
get used to how withdrawn he's been lately." 
  "Benton, I think there's something going on at school that he's not
telling us." 
  "It couldn't be his grades..." 
  "No, not that. Something else. I suggest we send in a spy to see what's
going on." 
  Just then, Jonny popped into the room. 
  "Did I hear someone call my name?" 
  Race smiled a big smile and looked over at Benton. 
  "Why not?" shrugged Benton. 
  "Jonny! How would you like to go on a spy mission..." 
  The next day, Jonny very quietly and covertly followed Hadji to school.
Whenever Hadji was in class, he looked many times through the door, and
saw very quickly and easily how all the women were staring and flirting
with him. Jonny also noticed how uncomfortable Hadji was-- both by
observing his facial expressions and how he constantly shifted in his
seat. 
  Class ended, and Jonny waited for Hadji outside the door.  Jonny noticed
how Hadji was crushed in the center of a mob of women, and when he was
clear of the door, practically fell into the row of lockers on the other
side of the hall as the women dispersed. 
  "Hadji! Are you alright?" 
  "Jonny! What are you doing here?" 
  "Coming to see what the problem is. Most guys would love to have the
problem you have." said Jonny half-wittingly. 
  "Other guys can have them, then." snapped Hadji. "I didn't want anyone
to know..." 
  "You're afraid we would laugh, wouldn't you? Hadji, this is no laughing
matter. Look what all this has done to you!" 
  "You are right, Jonny. It has made me miserable! Every day I get all
kinds of notes in my bag with phone numbers, love letters, party
invitations..." 
  "And none of that interest you." 
  "Jonny-- I am a Yogin. My interest lie in the Most High. My goal is
simple: to be the best I can be-- to expand my mind and my knowledge so I
can be of service to the Divine and to others. If any woman comes into my
life, she would need to be of a similar mindset. These girls here,
they..." 
  "Bore you?" interrupted Jonny. 
  "Sicken me. And that is a disturbing thought, as it goes against all
that I have learned." 
  "You just have to learn tolerance, that's all-- I doubt your Guru in
India anticipated problems of this nature."  observed Jonny. 
  "You are right, Jonny. He did not."  Jonny and Hadji went back to the
compound and spilled the beans to everyone about what had been occurring
the past three weeks. 
  "I hate to tell you this, Hadji-- but this is something you may have to
get used to." replied Benton. 
  "If Jess was here, you'd never hear the end of it." quipped Jonny. 
  "Jonny!" scolded Benton. 
  "Sorry, dad..." 
  "Anyway, I think what you need is to get away from it all.  You have two
weeks left this term, correct?" 
  "Yes." 
  "I suggest that you don't take any classes the second summer term, and
take the rest of the summer as vacation before the fall semester starts.
During this time, we could all go to the winter cabin in the Rockies." 
  "Excellent idea, Dr. Quest. I would like that very much." 
  "It's settled then. We leave in two weeks." 
  Over the next two weeks, things were unchanged for Hadji at school, and
he was desperately looking forward to his vacation. 
  The day finally arrived, and the Quest team departed to the Rocky
Mountains to a secluded cabin in the upper elevations where there was snow
year 'round. 
  "Aww, dad! It'll be winter soon enough in Maine!"  complained Jonny. 
  "Jonny, we're doing this for Hadji..." 
  "Yeah, whatever." Jonny winced. 
  A week passed, and everyone noticed that the break was doing Hadji good
as his mood mellowed back out to its normal, calm state, and he started
interacting with humanity again.  Hadji's mind was also relaxing as even
his meditative practices became more of what they used to be and Jonny
didn't have to physically touch him to get h to come out of it. However,
unknown to Hadji, things were about to change. 
  It was early one Saturday morning as Hadji sat outside in the brisk cold
air, just before sunrise. Hadji was meditating, and an image he'd never
seen before entered his mind. 
  In his mind he saw a vision of a girl dancing. She was a beautiful
girl-- short and petite, with long, flowing curly brown hair. She was
dressed in a leotard and wrap-around skirt of various pastel colors, and
she danced alone in a huge auditorium, in a style that was like theatrical
choreography blended with ballet. 
  Hadji's eyes snapped open as he thought he was dreaming, or rather,
hallucinating. Every morning that followed, he meditated and this image
grew stronger and stronger in his mind. Her full lips, her dark, round,
deep eyes, her young, child-like face with the distinctive pug nose... 
  One morning, well after sunrise, Jonny walked out and caught Hadji with
a sketch pad. 
  "I didn't know you could draw," said Jonny as he came up behind and
looked over Hadji's shoulder. "Who is she?" 
  "She is a vision I have been having for days now. She dances in my mind,
and with each step she takes, she dances her way further into my heart." 
  Jonny's eyebrows went up. 
  "She's pretty, Hadj, but you can't fall for a figment of your
imagination..." 
  "She is no figment. She comes when I meditate, and with it, I feel a
presence." 
  "Are you sure that it's not loneliness causing you to see what you want
to see?" 
  "I am positive, Jonny. I think that she is someone I may meet in the
near or distant future." 
  "What if you meet her, and she's not what you expect?" 
  "You mean if she looks different? It would not matter. It is the mind
and heart that matters-- that is where true beauty lies." 
  On the mornings that followed, Hadji continued to see the dancer, but
along with it, came quick flashes. These flashes were of a girl who bore
the same features, only with shorter hair and heavier set. On subsequent
days, these flashes became more frequent, and Hadji determined that the
dancer was an idealistic projection of the girl in the flashes. 
  This relieved Hadji, as the dancer was almost angelic, and this image
instilled the fear in Hadji's mind that he was having delusions. The face
of the girl in the flashes was more realistic looking and further proved
to Hadji that she was someone he would meet in the future. 
  Hadji started drawing pictures of the more realistic image, and
discovered that to him, she held more beauty than the dancer, even if she
wasn't as perfect physically. His sketches were of great detail, and the
depth in her eyes was reflected in Hadji's work much better than any
camera could ever hope to capture. 
  The weeks passed, and Hadji returned to school in the fall.  His studies
filled many of the hours that meditation used to, but he still looked at
his sketch book frequently. 
  One evening, Jonny came into Hadji's room when he was studying. He saw
the sketch book on the far end of the desk. 
  "How's it coming? You're gone so much these days, I don't see much of
you." 
  "Things are going well. You are right, though. In taking eighteen hours
this term, I am gone quite frequently." 
  "Bet that doesn't leave much time for meditation or art..." 
  "You are right on that count as well." said Hadji, with a slight
grimace. 
  "What bothers you most-- lack of meditation, or lack of time to draw?"
asked Jonny. 
  "Both, actually. But I do miss the time I put into my sketches." 
  "May I?" asked Jonny, picking up the sketch book. 
  "Certainly. Be my guest." 
  Jonny thumbed through several pictures of the dancer, but was surprised
to see new pictures of what looked like the same girl, only heavier and in
street clothes. He also noticed she looked more life-like and more
realistic. 
  "Who is this?" asked Jonny, with surprise in his voice. 
  "A few days after you saw my book the last time, I started having
flashes of that girl, intermingled with the visions of the dancer. As her
appearances became more frequent, I came to realize that the dancer is an
idealistic version of the girl you see there." 
  "So what you're saying is that this girl here would be the real person,
but the dancer is like a dream image she may or may not have consciously
sent you." 
  "Exactly." 
  "She's cute, although she's a little chubby." 
  "That does not matter. When I see her, I feel a mind there.  One that I
have been looking for for quite some time now. I do not intend on
repeating past mistakes." 
  "You mean Elise and Anaya." replied Jonny. 
  "Precisely. Beauty is found in the heart-- not in a slim figure or a
picture-perfect face." 
  "What if you meet her for real?" asked Jonny. "Are you going to show her
your book or tell her of your visions?" 
  "No. I fell that is best kept locked away in my heart-- I would never
want to compromise what could be. Even something as special as that book
could backfire into an unexpected or undesired consequences." answered
Hadji. 
  "I see your point." agreed Jonny. 
  Time passed, and as Hadji's life went on, he got more involved with his
studies and his work with Dr. Quest. And with this happening, his visions
became less and less frequent, and this started to bother him. 
  Then, early one morning, he got a vision with a distinct impression that
this would be the last one. In it, he saw her face more clearly than he
ever had before. And has he looked into her eyes, he could feel her soul
speak to him. 
  "Not to worry, my love. I came to you in mind in a time when you needed
me most. At this time in your life, there is no room for me. But take
comfort-- there will be a time in the future in your life when you will be
ready. And when this time comes, I will be there." 
  And with those words, her face disappeared, along with her presence.
Hadji all of a sudden felt empty as a tear came to his eye and he clutched
his sketch book to his heart. 
  He bowed his head and started to weep, when one final impulse crossed
his mind-- and he said, in a soft, whispy voice: "Miana..."