Memories

	Twenty-one years.  Hadji couldn't believe that he had reached his

twenty first birthday.  The Quests threw a marvelous celebration for him,

and some of his school chums wanted to party with him, but through it all,

Hadji felt something was missing.  Then, he remembered.  He had just

completed his first year of school.  It was summer vacation.  It was this

time last year that he had just come home from India, after two years

under the guidance of his guru.  It was a short time after his return to

Maine that he had begun having his visions.  Now he knew where the

emptiness came from.  His life had slowed down once again, so his mind

started turning inward... searching... searching... searching for her... 

	"Not to worry, my love.  I came to you in mind in a time when you

needed me the most.  At this time in your life, there is no room for me--

but take comfort-- there will be a time in the future in your life when

you will be ready.  And when this time com es, I will be there." 

	Hadji started meditating, and kept reaching out for her, and found

nothing. 

	"Miana!" his mind cried.  "Miana!  The emptiness, the

loneliness... I get so much attention from my classmates, but none from

someone I connect with... I NEED YOU!"

	Nothing. 

	Hadji buried his head in his hands and started to weep. 

	"Maybe I should've listened to Mother." he thought. 

	Then his mind turned to the events that sent him to his guru to

begin with... 

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	Hadji's eighteenth birthday had just passed, and the time had come

to say his good-byes to the Quests.  Neela had felt it time for Hadji to

come home and resume his responsibilities as Sultan of Bangalore.  Hadji

gave his painful farewells, and now he wa s on his way home... awaiting...

what?  He knew little to nothing of ruling a mountain province, but it was

his birthright, and his responsibility to learn. 

	Hadji arrived at Bangalore Palace and was greeted with all the

ceremony and splendor that was due him.  However, the day after the

initial celebration would bring events that Hadji neither expected, nor

desired. 

	"Hadji, you need to be up and dressed in your best attire at six

a.m. sharp." 

	Hadji knitted his brows and tilted his head. 

	"What for, Mother?" 

	"Your birthday surprise." smiled Neela, and she walked out his

door without further word. 

	Six a.m. arrived, and Hadji was dressed and in the throne room per

Neela's request.  Hadji was seated and trying to stifle a yawn, when the

doors of the throne room opened, and a large, formal entourage of people

entered.  Hadji watched the display take place before him, but he was

clueless.  After all the "introductory fluff" was out of the way, he found

his answer was forthcoming.  A tall, thin man in black attire with gold

trimming and wearing a black turban, stepped forward. 

	"Your highness," said the man as he bowed formally, "I am Vijay

Chaundry, and I am here to present to you, my daughter, Preeda." 

	The man stepped aside to reveal a thin, beautiful girl, about

5'5", with long black hair that went to her thighs.  She had large brown

eyes and excessively full lips, and she was dressed in a teal sari.  There

were only two problems:  Hadji did not want a wife in this manner, and as

Hadji examined the girl more closely, came to notice her haughty and

stuck-up demeanor. 

	Hadji was silent, but his eyes were aflame.  Only seconds had

passed, but if felt like hours before Hadji stood up and looked in the

direction of his mother. 

	"Mother, I will speak to you NOW!" 

	Hadji stormed off the platform and dragged his mother by the arm

from the room as quickly as their legs would carry them. 

	"Hadji--" 

	"Mother!  What in blazes is this?!?" 

	"Hadji, Preeda is a girl of outstanding background and breeding! 

She will make a wonderful wife and mother!" 

	Hadji shot his mother a death glance. 

	"Mother, what have you been thinking?  Has it not occurred to you

that I may want to choose my spouse and marry at my discretion?" 

	"But according to tradition--" 

	"TO HELL WITH TRADITION!" Hadji screamed.  "That girl-- Mother, I

went to touch her mind out there, and there was nothing to touch!  She is

vain, self-absorbed, and shallow!  How can you doom me to a life with her? 

I will have no part of it!" 

	"You have no choice, son.  These arrangements were made at your

birth, and reconfirmed upon your return to us." 

	"And why have I not heard of it until now?" 

	"That was your father's wish." 

	"I mean no disrespect toward him or you, but I will not do this!" 

	Hadji stormed past her and back into the throne room. 

	"I am sorry, Mr. Chaundry, and I intend no disrespect to either

you or your daughter, but I find this arrangement unacceptable.  I was not

made aware of this, and I do not hold to the tradition of arranged

marriages.  You are welcome to stay the night, but be advised that this

arrangement is void." 

	Preeda stuck her nose in the air as Hadji walked by her. 

	"HADJI!" screamed Neela just as he was about to leave the room. 

	"Please excuse me." said Neela to the Chaundrys. 

	Neela followed Hadji into the hallway and stopped and turned him

around. 

	"I knew that American living has corrupted you!" 

	Hadji shot her a glance. 

	"The Quests are good people, but their liberal ideals, plus

Jessie..." 

	"Jessie is nothing more than a friend, Mother.  Granted, at one

time there were feelings there, but it was not wise to pursue them, and in

light of her growing feelings for Jonny..." 

	"You have someone else, don't you?" 

	"No, Mother, I do not." 

	"The matter is settled, Hadji.  There will be a dinner tonight at

eight.  I expect you to be there." 

	Eight o'clock came, and Hadji was seated next to Preeda at the

main table, with Neela on his other side, and Vijay on the other side of

Preeda.  The dinner was long, slow, and terribly boring, as was this girl

to whom Hadji was betrothed... 

	"...And I feel this union will be of great benefit to our country. 

Being raised among nobility as I have, I have learned a great deal of

things..." rambled Preeda. 

	"Obviously humility is not one of them..." thought Hadji.  "A

lifetime with this mindless child-- a girl who could not possibly begin to

understand me.  Her-- a self-absorbed little girl, and me, and aspiring

yogin... what I really need is time spent lea rning under a guru...

GURU!!!" 

	Hadji's head snapped up. 

	Later that night, Hadji was up and ready to put his plan into

action.  He had never ran away form anything in his life, but he knew what

he had to do in order to secure his future and his happiness.  He had

withdrawn some money from his account in the tr easury, and was dressed in

street clothes.  He left a note for his mother explaining that he was

leaving to pursue the yogin path, and offered his deepest apologies both

to her and to the Chaundrys.  He snuck out of the palace, and took a plane

to Calcutt a to find a guru with whom he would spend the next two years. 

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	"So the time has come for us to go our separate ways, young

sultan." replied Swami Matajarnanda on Hadji's day of departure. 

	"These last two years under your guidance has been of great

benefit to me, Master." replied Hadji respectfully, bowing his head.  "I

thank you deeply for both your instruction, and for taking me in when I

had no where to go." 

	"I do not approve of how you ran away from your obligations, but

Karma is a strange master.  While it is not my place to judge you, I can

only trust in your judgment and in that of the Most High, that you will

have a rewarding life in accordance with wha t will be your destiny." 

	With that, Hadji said his farewells to his guru, and was off to

rejoin the family he missed so much.  He wrote his mother a letter

explaining where he had been and where he was going, and had also told her

that he hoped she could find it in her heart to forgive him.  It was then

that he decided that no one else, not even the Quests, would be told of

what he had done-- for this was the one and only thing in his life that he

had done that he was ashamed of-- not having studied with a guru, but

having run a way to do it. 

	

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	Hadji dried his eyes as he looked at his sketches of Miana, and

the last fragments of those memories left his mind. 

	"Miana, one day when we meet, I can never tell you of what I have

done.  I am too ashamed of myself, and I could not bare having you ashamed

of me as well." 

	Hadji closed the sketch books and out them away in his trunk.  As

he was leaving the attic, he turned around and looked at the trunk.  One

last tear ran down his cheek as he knew he would have to face the

loneliness and move on alone, with no idea of whe n she would come into

his life.  Then he thought to himself: 

	"To this, I promise you-- I ran away once, but I will not do it

again.  Somehow, I will make it through, I promise.  And when the time

comes, I will be here, ready to rejoice our meeting.  I love you, Miana."