Subject: JQ: The Quests of Hazzard 

Hey guys!   It's here, like I promised!

Category:  FIC, (with an attempt at) H, (kind of) X

Disclaimer:  I do not own Jonny Quest, any of the characters mentioned
below, or the Dukes of Hazzard.  I'm not making money.  Thank you.

The Quests of Hazzard  (1/?)

by Dana Cain (anda)

(Author's note: Everything said by the narrator will be put in <<'s.
Southern accents are used to be more like the show.  Thanks.  Please take
no offense to any of this.  I'm just kiddin' around.)

 . . .	Just the good ol' boys . . . 

	(Picture of Hadji {driving} and Jonny {riding} in a big blue Dodge Charger
with Orange trim)

 . . .ain't meanin' no harm . . 
	(Jonny tries to take the wheel of car)

 . . .  .beats all you've ever saw -  been in trouble with the law since
the day they was born . . .
	(Jonny is making the car go off the road,  a cop starts to chase)
	
 . . . Straightening the curves. . 
	 (Cuts to scene of guys getting out of the car to greet Jessie in Daisy
Duke attire)

. . . flatting the hills . . .
	(Cuts to picture of  Jonny driving and swerving the car all over the dirt
road)
 
. . .sometime the mountain might get em but the law never will . . .
	(Hadji shaking his head in fright as Jonny tries to jump over an extremely
big hill)

 . . . .making their way the only way they know how . . .
(Cut to scene with Race working on a car, all dirty)

 . . . that's just a little bit more than the law will allow . . .
	(Cut to picture of Jessie driving away from cops in her jeep)

 . . . just the good ol' boys  . . .
	(Cuts to picture of Dr. Quest feeding some chickens)

 . . .wouldn't change if they could . . 
	(Shows Boss Surd and Ezekeial P. Coltrane laughing at Boss Surd's office)
 
 .  . . .fightin' the system like two modern day Robin Hoods . . .
	(Jonny and Hadji jump a dirt mound and Jonny yells "Yee-hahhh!")

	Episode 562, "Even Bosses get what they Deserve"

<< Welcome to Hazzard County, folks.  Now, you know that there's no typical
days in Hazzard county.  Today is the day for the Quest boys, Jon and Hadj,
to pay the payment on their car, the faithful General.  Boss Surd would
love to repossess it, so naturally Jon is going to be a little upset!
Let's just hope that the Quest boys can get there in time . . without any
trouble!>>
	
	
	"Jonny, you are driving like a crazy man!"
	"Hey, Hadj!  If we don't get this money in, ol' Boss Surd will have the
General!"
	"That would be an unfortunate occurrence."
	"You'd better believe it would!"
	Jon stares at  Hadj's head.
	"What you got that ol' towel on your head for, anyhow?"
	Hadj gives a little laugh.
	"Oh!  I was sweaty!  Thought I would keep it on, my friend!"
	"There's no need ta talk proper to me, Hadj."
	
<>

	"Lorenzo!  Give me a status report on the Quest boys!"
	"But sir, yew know I ain't got no way of tellin' . . ."
	"Get on the CB, you imbecile!"
	"Oh!"

<< Now, what do you suppose ol' Lorenzo's up to?>>
	
	"Sir, I really must protest.  A voice can be recognized on the CB, I
reckon.  So sayeth the book of Rage!"
	"Then we shall have Officer Lorenzo to disguise his voice. Right, Lorenzo?"
	"Uh, Boss Surd?  I think it would be easier if we just kidnapped the
Quests' cousin Jessie."
	"Of course!  That would be brilliant!"
	They all start laughing insanely.  

<>

	"Uncle Benton, I'll tell you what, them dern animals are goin' to be the
death of me!"
	"Jessie, I've invented a machine that might be able to enhance the
structure of our animal feeder."
	"What's that you sayin', Uncle Benton?  A machine?  Heck, at'll get us off
this farm and outta Hazzard, I bet!  But I bet you won't be countin' on Jon
and Hadj doin' anything like at!"
	"No, I suspect Jon and Hadj would never leave their beloved hometown, and
have no plans of leaving it, either.  I couldn't just leave your cousins
like that!"
	"Speak of the devil - "

<< Now, wouldn't you know it?  It's Jon and Hadj, just in time!  And of
course, Jon's creating a big dust storm with the General.>>

	"Jon Quest!  I cain't believe you!"
	"Well, howdy cousin Jessie!"
	"How are you, my kindred?"
	Uncle Benton looks up from the chicken feed.
	"We're doing fine, Hadji.  Would you like to help me out on a new
invention for the farm?  It may just get us out of the hole."
	"I would feel very priviledged, uncle Benton."
	Jon rolls his eyes.
"Not very priviledged, Hadj.  Mighty privilideged!  Uncle, tell 'em he
needs to start talkin' right!"
	"I'll do no such thing, Jon.  Why don't you help your cousin Jessie feed
the rest of the chickens?"
	"Oh, all right, Uncle Benton."
	"And by the way -"
	"Yeah?"
	"Did you get the payment in on the General?"
	"Shore did."
	"Good!"
	"My family, I really do not know why it is necessary for us to name our
beloved Dodge Charger after a dead general who fought in a war over one
hundred years ago.   It is fitting to remember the past, but not to dwell
on or idolize it."
	"Cousin Hadji, what are you talkin' about?"  Jessie asked before thinking
about Hadj's feelings.
	"Oh, nothing.  I will go and assist our uncle now."
	Jon gives a little wave.   "Y'all have fun now, yhear?"
	He walks toward the barn with  Jessie.  "How was work today at the
Warthog's Den, cousin Jessie?"
	"It was mighty fine, I reckon.  Boss Surd said he was going to give me a
raise!  I'm going to need that raise.  I've been havin' trouble with Dixie
again.  Her brakes ain't workin' right."
	"Well, you know you can go see ol' Race.  He can fix a car quicker than he
can he can rope a hoss!"
	"I don't know, cousin Jon.  Every time I go and see Race, he always gives
me a lecture about my shorts!  I don't think they're too short, and I don't
expect him to be raggin' me about it!  He acts like my dad or somethin'!"
	Jon gets out the chicken feed.
	"Wow, coz!  Didn't know things were that bad!  I'll tell you what, I'll
give ol' Race a call and tell him to be nice to you!  Why don't you head
on?  I'll feed the chickens."
	"Why thank you, cousin!"


<>
	
	"I wish I had a dern radio in this here jeep.  I guess I'll just have to
sing to myself.  Ahem.  Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
. . ."

<>
	
	"Don't let em pick guitars and drive them ol' trucks.  Let em be doctors
and lawyers and such . ."

<>

	"Whatdaya want, officer?"
	Lorenzo walks over to her car.
	"License and registration, ma'am."
	"I don't have my license!  I'm takin' Dixie here to get fixed!  Please let
me go!  I haven't done anything wrong!"
	"I would say that not havin' your license is reason enough to take ya to
jail."
	"Whut?  You're not takin' me, buster!"

<>
	
	"Oh, yeah?  Well, me and my gun wouldn't agree with you, little lady."
	"Why are you holdin' a gun up to me, varmit?"

<>
	
	"Get outta the car, ma'am.  I don't' think you want to disagree with me."

<>
	
	
	To be continued  . . .

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