Note: The fanfic scenes are inspired, not taken exactly as they were from the actual fic. There may be some variation from the original stuff. All fic titles and their authors exhibited at the end at your convenience. Due to Ina-chan's early onset of senility, she also forgot the titles of some of the episodes from which she took the other JQ scenes. Your input will be appreciated... ^_^. Now sit back and enjoy an Alanis Morissette, non-morbid music v ideo from Ina-chan.

Slumber
"Miles to Go (Before I Sleep)" sung by Celine Dion
musicfic by Ina-chan

�i would walk to the edge of the universe for you
paint you a crimson sunset over sheltering skies�

      Tell me my child, years from now, how will you remember me?

      Will you remember our explorations of the moon? Our battles with ferocious dragons? Or will you remember the time when we defeated the monster that lived under your bed with the magic water from the well of courage?

i could learn all the world dialects for you
whisper sonnets in your ear discovering truth

      Years from now, will you still remember? That when you feel scared, all you have to do is close your eyes, wish with all your heart, and chant �popsicle� five times? And that whenever you skin your knee or your elbow, Mommy will cuddle you up in her arms and make everything all better?

i could never worship pagan gods around me
i will only follow the path that leads me to you baby... always

      Or will you just remember me as the mean old witch, who shook you awake in the middle of the night? Who hastily put a raincoat over your pj�s and carried you around out in the cold rain? Who left you in the arms of a stranger she met in the street...

      OH GOD! What have I done? What kind of a mother am I leaving you just like that? I shouldn�t have done that. I should have held on to you tightly. I should have kept running.

      I was so stupid! So so STUPID! If I listened to the warnings... If only I didn�t dismiss my instincts... If only I had seen them coming miles away... If only I ran faster... if only... if only...

every step i take for you
i will always defend, never pretend

      Oh sweetie, please don�t hate me for what I�ve done. Don�t think that Mommy abandoned you. It was a desperate move in a desperate situation... The only thing I could think of doing at the moment...

      I can only curse the gods for not granting me with inhuman strength. Even for a little while. Just enough time for me to break the restraints that bind my hands behind my back. To pull the dirty veil over my eyes that makes me only face the grim darkness of this situation. To rip the band that seals my lips into silence...

      ...preventing me from reaching out to find you...

      ...hindering me from seeking your laughing angelic face...

      ...restraining me from calling out your name out in sorrow...

that every breath i take for love
i could never be wrong, the journey is long

      I�m afraid.

      I�m terribly afraid.

      I�m afraid of how all this would affect you. Children your age should not have to deal with grim circumstances... You should grow up with your Mommy watching over you... arguing to clean your room... feeling pride on your graduation... pestering you to tell her about your new girlfriend... not this... not loss... when you�re too young to understand what loss means.

      How I wish I could erase the memories of this night in your mind. How I wish I could prevent the destruction of your innocence... How I wish I could hold you in my arms right now and sing you your favourite lullaby. How I wish...

      OH GOD! Please let my little boy be all right... watch over him

with miles to go before i sleep
miles to go before i sleep...

      But if erasing the memory of this night means that you have to forget all the others as well... it will be a small sacrifice to pay. Anything to ease your pain, my sweet little one...

      One wish... I only have one wish and one hope...

      That if you do ever forget all about me... never, never forget how much I love you.

i would carry the rock of gibraltar just for you
lift it like a pebble from the beach to the skies

      My darling...

      My dear, dear, beloved...

      When we made our vows that day... not very long ago...

      I made a promise that I will only live for you.

      That I would carry the weight of the world on my shoulders for you.

      Never did I imagine that I would be fulfilling that promise so soon... too soon...

i could build you a bridge that spans the ocean wide
but the greatest gift i give you would be to stand by your side

      Please find it in your heart to forgive me, darling.

      That in order to keep this promise... I must break others that I have made.

      The promise to make you an unburned perfect dinner...

      Or to be there for moral support when Jonny starts asking about girls...

      Or to remind you where you left your teeth when we�re both gray-haired and you�re going senile...

some can criticize and sit in judgment of us
but they can�t take away the love that lives inside of us always

      If only there is a way to let you know... if only there is a way for me to tell you right this moment. That there is one more oath that I will keep. One more promise...

      To love you with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul...

      ...�til death do us part?

      No... not even death can hinder my love...

      I will love you even beyond the existence of this lifetime...

every step i take for you
i will always defend, never pretend

      My darling, I must also have to ask you to make a great sacrifice.

      Do not fall an easy prey to the seductive embrace of bitterness. Do not give in to the attractive enticement of despair. I do not wish to be the cause of your unhappiness.

that every breath i take for love
i could never be wrong, the journey is long

      Do not curse the gifts that you have been blessed with. Use them, share them as you have before. It�s true that I�ve been selfishly jealous of sharing you with the world. But depriving the next generation of the promise of a better future... that is too much of a selfish sacrifice.

with miles to go before i sleep
miles to go before i sleep...

      Continue to share your gifts. Remind yourself not of this tragedy, but of the future that depend on you. Remind yourself that you are instrumental in preventing far more greater tragedies that could happen in the future.

      Remind yourself of the future of the next generation...

      ... of our son...

et the rivers flow to the highest ground created

      The shuffle of feet, wisps of whispering voices, the metallic taste of fear in my mouth...

      And I will face my own present fears with courage that the both of you will be proud of...

every step i take for you...

      They pull me up to my feet and drag me... where? Who knows?

      It�s funny. Until this moment, I kept on hoping that someone will appear. Like a dashing hero to save me and take me away... from this nightmare...

      But all that is a fairytale, isn�t it? Like the stories we like to play pretend, sweetie?

      In fairytales, bad men never get away with evil deeds...

      In fairytales, everyone is happy in the end...

      In fairytales, good men who do good deeds don�t make enemies...

      In fairytales we will be together...

      ...just the three of us...

      ...always...

      ...forever...

...i will always defend, never pretend

      Our Father, who art in heaven...

      Words of faith instilled from childhood... they were supposed to help you gather strength in your time of need...

      But why?

      Why do those words sound hollow in my heart now?

that every breath i take for love...

Call for courage of the wise...
One deep breath and close your eyes...
Make a wish with all your heart...
Five times that magic word, then start...
Popsicle...

...i could never be wrong, the journey is long

      Popsicle...

      They push me to the ground, and I could only whimper in pain as my knees contact hard against the cold concrete floor. The smell of musty dust heavy in the air.

      Another funny moment...

      How only years ago, I flinched in horror and morbid fascination at an old snapshot of a prisoner of war from Vietnam. Arms bound behind his back, eyes and mouth covered in black tape. The suffering of his wait for his inevitable demise forever immortalized in from the camera of the enemy...

with miles to go before i sleep

      My own eternity of moments, captured in my minds eye as I feel the menacing cold of a hard metal against the back of my head.

      Dear God, please watch over them...

      Popsicle, popsicle ...

miles to go...

      Pop--

...before i sleep

--FIN--