I'm Too Sexy For My Turban By (who else?) LesliWeird

        Hadji blinked at the glaring stage lights. He couldn't see Jonny
or Jessie through the brightness. He couldn't even make out the rows of
seats in the high school auditorium. At least he could take some small
solace in the fact that only his two friends would be there on such a
beautiful Saturday. 
        "Are you ABSOLUTELY sure there is not something else I could do?"
He asked. 
        "No way, Hadji!" Jonny yelled back, "You bet you would sing if you
lost!" 
        "If I had known you meant for me to sing this..." Hadji began. 
        "It's like you always say, 'a blind man can't take the sunrise for
granted'." 
        "What does that have to do with anything?!" Hadji demanded. He
sighed and rotated his shoulders backwards. It was getting hot. "Just
remember, Jonny, you promised not to bring a camera." 
        "Hadj, please!" Jonny retorted, managing to sound faintly offended
while suppressing a laugh. 
        "Music's ready, Hadji," Jessie said, looking from the control
board. She had wired the sound to a portable control so she could sit on
the front row. She wouldn't have missed this for the world! "You ready?" 
        "Give me one last moment of dignity." 
        Jonny leaned over and whispered into Jessie's ear. "Too bad for us
he made me promise not to bring a camera," he said ruefully. She grinned
back at him, an evil gleam in her eyes in the dim light. She pulled out
one of the books she had brought to help her with the wiring. 
        "Too bad for him he didn't make me promise!" She flipped open the
book to reveal a small video camera. 
        "Alright, I am ready," came Hadji's resigned voice. Jessie flipped
a few switches. Fog poured in from the wings. The lights switched to blue.
A strong beat resounded from the speakers. Hadji, standing in the middle
of it, tapped his foot to the music. When he began to sing, his voice was
deeper than the one he usually spoke with. 
        "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it
hurts!"  Stepping across the stage in time with the music, he pulled of
the overshirt he had been wearing. Jonny burst out laughing and it was all
Jessie could do to keep from joining him. She patted her hidden camera
lovingly. 
        "And I'm too sexy for my city, too sexy for my city; Calcutta and
Delhi!" 
        "Sure are," Jessie said under her breath. 
        "What was that?" Jonny asked. She smiled at him innocently. 
        "I'm a model, yah. And I do my little turn on the catwalk," Hadji
spun on one foot. Jonny and Jessie balked. He looked absolutely
professional. 
        "Where did he learn to do THAT?!" Jonny asked. "He never even
watches MTV!"  Jessie shrugged. She was just as stumped as he was.
        "I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party. No way I'm
disco dancing." Hadji dipped into a disco move. He swayed and stepped, his
turban and white undershirt contrasting with his coppery skin. 
        "He can't be this good!!" Jonny's jaw dropped to the floor. "What
did he do, practice for this?" 
        "He couldn't have!" Jessie exclaimed, "I only told him about it
today!" 
        "I'm too sexy for my turban, too sexy for my turban, so sexy I'm
burning!"  He twirled his hand over his head and before he had finished
his line, his turban was neatly wrapped around his forearm. Both of his
friends' eyes bulged. "I'm a model, yeah, and I do my little turn on the
catwalk." Hadji turned away from the audience, laced his hands behind his
head, and swung his hips. 
        "I think he's enjoying this!!" Jonny said accusingly. 
        "I know I am," Jessie said quietly grinning. 
        "Huh? I didn't catch that." 
        "Shhhh!" 
        Hadji spun again, ending up in the center of the stage, feet
together, facing straight forward. 
        "And I'm too sexy for this song." The music cut off. Jessie
flipped a switch, turning the lights back to their usual white. 
        "That was GREAT!!" she said, setting aside her switchboard, and
hopping up to the stage.
        "You think so?" Hadji asked, blushing as he wound his turban back
around his head. He smiled at Jessie as she tossed him back his discarded
shirt. "I am glad you liked it. It was rather nice to 'let my hair down'
so to speak." 
        "Where did you learn how to dance like that?" she inquired as they
hopped down off the stage and left the auditorium. 
        Jonny watched them leave, dumbfounded. With a sudden look of
determination he scrambled up on stage. He blinked at the stage lights.
Well, he thought, if Hadji can do it so can I! He launched himself into a
twirl. Jonny felt a rush of air and a sudden downward pull as he spun
wildly off the front of the stage. 
        "Oh, Jonny," came Jessie's voice from the hallway, "could you turn
off the lights? And get my ca- I mean my book? I left it ON the seat." 
        The crumpled heap that was once Jonny Quest twitched
spasmodically. It was just not his day.